By Maureen Arriola
The annual Together in Holiness Marriage Retreat, sponsored by the Archdiocese of San Francisco and St. John Paul II Foundation, took place on September 27at Church of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in Belmont, California. Maureen Arriola provides a reflection on the conference.
My husband and I always look forward to the annual marriage conference, Together in Holiness, sponsored by the Archdiocese of San Francisco. Having already been married for several years and with a growing family, I wanted a program that would boost our marriage – from better to best. God answered my prayer. We began attending this conference in 2016, and have attended every year since.
The Together in Holiness Conference is a day-long retreat that is filled with opportunities for intimate spiritual connection with my husband. We spend most of the time pondering ways we can apply what we have heard from the speakers to our daily lives. Given that the divorce rate in the United States is a staggering 40-50% (some say even higher!), we wanted to protect our marriage and family from this devastating malady.
This year, our speakers were a young couple, Renzo and Monica Ortega, with 5 children hailing from Connecticut. It was deja vu hearing their family experiences. We have been married for 20 years, but hearing their struggles reminded me so much of ours, especially when our four children were much younger – sleepless nights, diapers galore, and guaranteed daily meltdowns from at least one member of the family – including us parents!
Together in Holiness gave my husband and I a reprieve from the daily grind of family life, even if it was just for a few hours. The beautiful thing I realized is that all families go through struggles, no marriage is immune to the harsh realities of life. But God, in His abundant mercy, gives each couple the grace to live out their covenant through the sacraments. It is precisely through these daily struggles that marriage is strengthened and purified, growing from selfishness to self-giving. What a gift!
The second speaker was Fr. Jerome Magat from St. Patrick’s Seminary. He reminded us parents of the grave responsibility we have to “hand on” (tradere, Latin root of tradition) our Catholic faith to our children. As a teacher by trade, he gave us practical tips to grow in our faith, starting with the couple, the children, the extended family, and then the community at large. It was a delight to hear his experiences with his family back in the Philippines, which I can definitely relate to, growing up there myself. What struck me the most was when he explained to us the difference between obedience to the will of God and mere compliance, especially when kids start leaving for college (which will be our oldest in a couple of years!)
At the conclusion of the conference, we were all invited to join the vigil Mass with Archbishop Cordileone. I’m always very grateful that we have an archbishop who is so supportive of marriage and family. In this post-Christian era with AI, technology, and social media besieging us, it is a tremendous consolation that our shepherd is encouraging couples to persevere and flourish in God’s design for marriage.
